"Can you not have more parents?"

I wonder if anyone has ever asked an orphan, "Can you not have more parents?" I don't mean to sound harsh, but I can't tell you how many people have asked me "Can you not have more children?" since we started this process. I suppose it is a natural question. People are curious as to why we would choose to grow our family through adoption. A lot of people automatically assume we can't have anymore kids "of our own" and that is why we are adopting. It is not. Actually, I guess it could be...we haven't even tried since London was born. You see, as I've mentioned before, adopting is something I have always wanted to do, something God laid on my heart as far back as my childhood. I remember telling my mom one day approximately 6 1/2 years ago that I was thrilled to experience pregnancy, but felt that our next child would be adopted.
I absolutely loved being pregnant! I played with the doppler every night that I worked and listened to his heart beat. I cherished every kick and flutter. London was delivered by c-section due to placenta previa, so I missed out on the natural childbirth I had planned on. I know many of you are rolling your eyes right now and thinking, whatever!!! I literally stayed up the entire first night just staring at him. He was so perfectly pink and precious. I loved breast feeding, more eye rolling from a few, I know because I did it before I experienced it for myself...magical! :) Anyway, my point is that it was an amazing experience, one that we may choose to repeat one day, but for now the plight of the orphans weighs too heavily upon my heart to even consider bringing another child into the world while there are so many helpless, hopeless children already here who need a mommy and daddy to love and cherish them. Please do not misunderstand me. I am not at all saying it is wrong to have a child. I just think it's sad that people don't typically think to adopt just for the sake of adopting, for the sake of a lonely child in desperate need for a family. For many it is a last resort. Having experienced the "birth" of a child grown in my heart, I can say with absolute certainty, it is equally magical and just as amazing as physically giving birth to a child. I am thrilled to be carrying Maphada in my heart. I love the sound of her deep voice! I cherish every photo and video chat. The journey has been long and painful at times, but I would do it again in a moment to see her little face light up on that computer screen as the image of our faces appear to her. It is absolutely priceless!
So, I would encourage all of you to think about adoption in a new way, not as a last resort, but as a purposeful way to reach out to the lonely and helpless children in our broken world. Support families in your community who are in the process of adopting, or those who have brought their children home and are dealing with unique issues. Encourage families who are fostering children in temporary placement, or those who are fostering to adopt and risking the loss of a child or children. Pray that God will provide fathers for the fatherless, and be open to the possibility of Him making you that father or mother ;) ... Most of  all, pray that God will reveal Himself to the orphans around the world as their Heavenly Father, that they will place their trust and faith in Him above all, and experience an eternity so vastly different than their present life. Pray they will learn the glorious truth that this life is not all there is and find ways to spread that truth around the world, not only to orphans, but to all who find themselves utterly helpless in a cold, cruel, careless world.

Beauty for ashes...

I am not particularly proud of the emotions that have marched through my heart this morning... I don't even know where to begin... I am constantly having to stop mid-rant and remind myself of who my God is. My God is not weakness. My God is not powerless. My God is not helpless. I am. But He, most definitely, is not. I keep having to remind myself that He knit my daughter together when she was still in her mother's womb, that He witnessed her birth into complete and utter poverty, that while I was welcoming a healthy, pink baby boy into my teeny, tiny world, she was given up by her Mama to live among strangers. He was still there, and He still loved her, and He had a plan. Sin is ugly, but my God is beautiful, and I must choose to glorify Him through each and every painful step, through each disappointment and setback. I keep reminding myself that He used the devastation of an earthquake that killed hundreds of thousands of people to bring my beautiful Maphada into our lives. Can I really question how long it will take? Am I ultimately angry with my God when I grumble and complain about the wait? Who, after all, is in control? 

I know the answer to that question. I will once again confess my impatient, questioning heart and fill it with His promises. I will cling to the truth that God is incapable of making mistakes. He is always righteous, always just. No man can thwart His perfect plan, and He is in control.

So, I wait for Him to make something beautiful from the ashes. Glimpses of what that beauty will look like keep me sane... I see it in her sparkling eyes, I hear it in her joyful laughter, I feel it when she is in my arms... It still hurts, but the beauty outweighs every heartache, and I would do it all over again in a second to know her and to be known as Mama Maphada. :')

        "Giving them a garland instead of ashes,

The oil of gladness instead of mourning,

The mantle of praise instead of a spirit of fainting,

So they will be called oaks of righteousness,

The planting of the Lord, that He may be glorified."

Isaiah 61:3