I am always hesitant to share my heart so completely, to share what belongs to me and my sweet girl, but my heart is so full right now, and it helps to know my friends and family can see a glimpse of where I am in this journey, to know how to pray for us, so here it goes...
Today is Palm Sunday. I just came inside after spending some time lying out on the trampoline with your Dabby and London. I laid there, staring up at the beautiful trees all around me, watching the breath of God move through the leaves, the branches waving at me, the half moon growing brighter and brighter in the evening sky, the shades of blue going on forever and ever…and suddenly there were two butterflies fluttering and flying overhead and I felt you had joined me there, in a small way. Dearest, sweetest Maphada, I miss you so much! My heart hurts at the thought of you, at all of the precious moments we are missing with you. You will be 9 years old in June. 9. I think of all of the steps yet to be completed in your adoption and I have to stop around 3 or 4 because it is too painful to think about. I pray that you are blissfully unaware of what is left, that each day passes with a comfortable rhythm, school, jumping rope, singing, playing with your friends. I hope that when you think of us it is with a sense of hope and happiness, a sense of thankfulness that God brought our lives together.
Today is Palm Sunday. I am thinking of you, so many miles away… I am thinking of Jesus, riding into Jerusalem on a colt, listening to the people shouting “Hosanna, Hosanna” welcoming their king, knowing all the time that those same voices would be shouting “Crucify him, Crucify him” in only a matter of days… I am thinking that I claim His truth in my life, I profess my love for Him, my faith in Him… So I will not speak two different things, I will not lessen the beauty of His plan by contradicting who He is with pain and questions… He is a God who sent His one and only Son to die for us, He is a God who makes all things new, a God who makes beauty from ashes… He will bring you home. And I will wait in patience, praising Him all the while, no questions, just hope, happiness, and thankfulness that He gave me you. Sweet, precious, adorable, you.
Sweetest dreams, Maphada Jade Hutton. We love you so deeply. We will never give up. Thank you Father, for my beautiful butterfly… xoxoxo!!!
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